Broadway Gems, pt. 2: Jane Eyre

The next show in this series is the musical adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. It opened at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre on December 10, 2000, quickly gaining a loyal fan base and earning a 2001 Tony nomination for Best Musical. Unfortunately this success wasn't enough to keep the show running, and it closed on June 10, 2001--seven days after the Tonys.

In the story, a young and unattractive governess arrives at the mysterious Thornfield Hall, where she meets the troubled Mr. Rochester with a dark secret. When the secret is finally revealed, she's forced to make the hardest decision she's ever faced. A touch of Gothic horror is brought to a somewhat nontraditional love story, exploring themes of religion, social class-based oppression, and the cost of personal integrity.

Amazon sells the CD, featuring Marla Schaffel as Jane and James Barbour as Mr. Rochester. YouTube unfortunately doesn't have many songs from the show, but here are the (good) ones I could find.

As Good As You (lyrics): Rochester explains the presence of 10-year-old Adelle to Jane. This is from the pre-Broadway tour with Marla Schaffel and Anthony Crivello; I prefer Barbour's more subtle interpretation of the character, which can be heard on the CD.


Sirens (lyrics): Act One finale. The secrets of Rochester's past are threatened to be exposed as he struggles with his feelings for Jane. This was taken from the 2001 Tony Awards. (Note: yes, the third voice at the end is intentional.)


Painting Her Portrait (lyrics): Jane laments her low status and plain features in comparison to her beautiful rival for Mr. Rochester's affection, Blanche Ingram.


If it's possible, to really get a feel for the show you should try to find the following songs, or just get the CD:

Forgiveness
The Graveyard/Sweet Liberty
The Proposal
Farewell Good Angel
The Voice Across the Moors

Broadway Gems, pt. 1: The Secret Garden

I've been reminiscing about Broadway musicals that have come and gone, shows that deserved more credit than they ever received. Nearly everyone has heard at least one rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables and can sing along to Phantom of the Opera's "All I Ask Of You", but there are many good shows with solid numbers that will rarely ever be seen or heard from again. For my next few posts, I'll give tribute to these "Broadway Gems". First up: The Secret Garden.

The Secret Garden opened at the St. James Theatre in April 1991 and ran for a little over a year. Winner of the 1991 Tony Award for Best Musical, it adapts the classic story by Frances Hodgson Burnett for the stage. 10-year-old Mary Lennox is sent to live with a hunchbacked uncle she's never met in England after losing her parents to a cholera outbreak at a British colony. The uncle has troubles of his own, lost in memories and unable to cope with the death of his wife, Lily--Mary's aunt. The isolation and bitterness drive Mary to search out the secrets of the mansion, and find refuge in the garden beyond.

Obviously I suggest getting the CD. With the miracle of YouTube (and thanks to various productions by different regional theatres), I'm able to present a few of the highlights from this somewhat obscure musical.

House Upon the Hill (lyrics): Mary arrives at the mansion, escorted by the dour housekeeper.


I Heard Someone Crying (lyrics): A mysterious crying shakes the household. (Note: bad lighting. The adult female voice is Lily's ghost.)


Girl In The Valley (lyrics): Archibald (Mary's uncle) remembers dancing with Lily.


Winter's On The Wing (lyrics): Dickon, the enigmatic brother of Mary's chambermaid (and something akin to a nature sprite) sings of the start of Spring.


Lily's Eyes (lyrics): Archibald and his brother, Neville (the "villain" as it were) reminisce about Lily. This song has actually become a rather famous male duet.


Quartet (lyrics): The other famous song from the show. Archibald relays a dream he had to Neville, who plots to send Mary away to boarding school, while the ghosts of Lily and Rose (Mary's mother) relive an argument prior to Lily's marriage. (Note: it cuts off abruptly at the end, but that is the whole song.)

It's The Cup Game!

Forget reality TV. Forget Paris Hilton. Forget all the celebrity gossip you've heard recently about who got drunk, wasn't wearing underwear, or dumped an obnoxious star on their face at the Fox Really Awards. There's a new sensation guaranteed to capture your attention for much longer than any of these flashes in the proverbial pan (at least five seconds!) After long minutes of searching through YouTube for the perfect new potential Olympic sport, I give you...the Cup Game!



This newest hit is sweeping the nation--or at least the various schools, colleges, and summer camps therein. Yes, dear parents, this is what your hard-earned, blood- and sweat-bought money is funding. You can rest knowing America will soon take their place on the international stage as the country with the most hand-eye coordinated citizens with a sense of rhythm. Just think--every time you're at home, imagining your son or daughter studying hard in their dorm, you can remember this:



It just goes to show that success in life doesn't require any knowledge of math or science, any diplomatic or mechanical skills, or even any thoughtfully-formed opinions about news events, celebrities, international affairs or the literary world. All you really need is a good sense of timing...and a cup.

----------------
Now playing: Wolf's Rain - Heaven's Not Enough
via FoxyTunes

Who's The Mann?

There are a few actors whose careers have spanned the decades and whose talent has in some way improved the overall quality of the field. Terrence Mann is one of those who can deservedly be called a "consummate professional". From 1985's movie version of "A Chorus Line", to his numerous originating roles on Broadway, to his most recent work as the otherworldly Bob/Hrothbert on "The Dresden Files", he's shown a remarkable ability to adapt to (and succeed in) any medium--even lending his voice to a few animated series and audiobooks. (Admittedly some of the movies he's appeared in are less than stellar, but that shouldn't be considered a reflection on his acting skills.)

Why am I saying this? Someone recently uploaded a sort of "overview" of his work throughout the years, prompting me to mention it here. I hadn't actually noticed just how many roles he originated on Broadway: Rum Tum Tugger in CATS, Javert in Les Miserables, and Chauvelin in The Scarlet Pimpernel to name a few.

I had the honor of meeting him while he was working at The Scarlet Pimpernel, a show with tremendous potential that was never really given the chance to show how good it could be. (Pick up the original Broadway soundtrack sometime--you won't regret it.) Not only is he a talented actor, he was also quite gracious to the throng of people crowded around him. It's good to know there are still folks out there who can take their work seriously without taking themselves too seriously. For your convenience, here's the clip:

Remembering 9/11

I'm sure everyone remembers where they were when the horrific news starting pouring out of New York. I was just waking up, preparing for the second day of my Junior year at college when the first tower was hit. I relayed everything via IM to a friend of mine who had no TV in her dorm until I left for class. Driving to school in northern New Jersey, I could see smoke billowing into the sky.

Every TV in the Brothers College building was on, and every class had been let go--except mine. (The professor felt an attempt at normalcy was mandatory to prevent hysteria, although whether he was right is still up for debate.) We all assembled in the gymnasium at noon to hear our university president give a speech, not knowing he would later head the 9/11 Commission. Those with friends and family in or near the Towers waited by a large TV that had been set up as they frantically tried to send a phone call through the soot- and ash-clogged New York air. All of a sudden, the largely apathetic student body actually cared about something. At that time, no one knew who Osama bin Laden was or why he wanted to destroy America, but I think by that afternoon we all knew America would never be the same again.

In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter where we were or what we felt when it happened. What matters is what we've done about it in the years that followed. Some decisions have been life-affirming, some disastrous, but through it all we mustn't let the slogan we've all come to know become a mere platitude: Never Forget. Those who lost their lives--whether in the Towers, the Pentagon, on the planes, or from health issues as a result of breathing the toxic air--deserve to be remembered not just as victims of a heinous crime, but as human beings who loved and lived.

Shortly after September 11th I attended an informal concert at the Nyack Seaport. It was one in a series of such intimate performances my family had subscribed to, and the first one to take place after the tragedy (the previous two had been canceled because no one felt like singing.) Our small group gathered as usual, but a number of chairs remained conspicuously empty; many subscribers were businessmen who often completed transactions in the financial district. A large picture window lined one side of the tiny room, giving all assembled a perfect view of the Hudson River and the wounded skyline beyond. In the midst of this surrealistic, numbing horror, one of the performers chose a song from "The Fantasticks" that reaches through the years to capture the moment perfectly, even now:

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

A Day In The Life

Ken Levine's back with a post describing a typical day for him and David Isaacs as they come up with a new sitcom script. The process is a fascinating snapshot of a comedy writer's life as they draw on 34 years of experience to churn out idea after idea.

I'd love to attend Levine's Sitcom Room workshop, but my work focuses more on movies and plays. The few ideas I have for television are strictly drama; plus, I don't live anywhere near California. I admire anyone who can write good, solid comedy--a talent that seems to be woefully lacking from many present-day shows.

The Irate Gamer

A short while ago YouTube featured the videos of a user called "The Irate Gamer". A film editor from Ohio, he reviews the old NES video games that lacked a good plot, decent controls, or just plain didn't make sense. Putting his editing talent to use, he combines some perceptive observations with special effects to make a fairly entertaining clip. It was reassuring to find out someone shared my pain playing Back to the Future in the 1980s.

A couple of caveats: first, HE SWEARS LIKE A SAILOR. (I'm not kidding.) Second, his humor occasionally hovers around toilet level, every frat boy's delight. Still, if you can overlook these unfortunate qualities, anyone who's suffered through more than their share of horribly written NES games will know exactly what he's talking about.

For the record, I couldn't get that damn song from the video game out of my head for three years. Yes, I counted. And he's right--it never was in the movie.

36 Madison Avenue

I was browsing YouTube for videos shot at my alma mater and came across a number of clips featuring the three acapella groups on campus. Of the three, 36 Madison Avenue (or simply "Mad Ave") has always been the most organized and had the most talent; this would probably explain why they keep popping up at the ICCA every year. Seeing them sing again brought back some wonderful memories, even if I don't recognize any of the faces anymore. Here's a clip of them at this year's ICCA:

I also came across a clip of Drew's Jamnation 2006 at the Baldwin Gym, where the visiting Fordham University's Ramblers gave their rendition of the popular--if strange--Dragostea Din Tei (or, the "Numa Numa Song"). The clip's author apologizes for cutting off the last few seconds, but you get to see nearly all of it:

If you're a fan of college acapella or of seeing folks having a blast onstage, these clips have plenty of both.

Alan Wake

For a couple of years now, Remedy Games has been working on what they call a "psychological action thriller" titled Alan Wake (you can view the trailer here). It's been featured at the last three E3 Expos, each time giving fans a glimpse of what the game will look like when it actually comes out; there's no set date as to when it will be released, Remedy claiming only that it will be out "when it's done".

There are a number of things I find fascinating about this game. I'm always a sucker for a game with a well developed plot, and Alan Wake promises to deliver an intriguing story (after over three years in development, I would certainly hope it has one.) Remedy claims the game will be far more character-driven than their other well-known titles--namely, Max Payne and Grand Theft Auto. Considering my interest in those titles is set firmly below 0%, my expectations are high.

Light is supposed to play an integral part in the game, which is fairly unique. Remedy has already said one of the greatest weapons in Alan's arsenal will be a flashlight. This brings a special meaning to the traditional "light vs. dark" war.

Supposedly everything in the game has meaning. Even Alan's name ties in with the game's theme: the tagline is "I Am Awake", from which the developers came up with "A. Wake" (or Alan Wake.)

The funny part is, depending on how violent the game turns out, I may not actually even play it. I'm more of an adventure and puzzle-solving fan, and have always preferred the experience of progressing through a storyline over the gameplay itself. I'm not even really a fan of the survivor-horror genre, I'm just intrigued by the stories behind a few of the games. As a result, I'll sometimes trawl YouTube to look for cutscenes and endings of games I deem too graphic or violent to actually play; that way I can satisfy my curiosity of the plotline while avoiding the resulting nightmares. (Hey, it worked for me with Silent Hill.)

Then again, this may all be a moot point if they keep putting off the release date. Right now it's set for Spring 2008, but as they've already told us: it'll be ready "when it's done".

Speaking of Rejection...

Looks like I'm not the only one thinking about it. Ken Levine recently dedicated an entire post to the subject--the antagonist and biggest (though not always worst) fear of every writer. He stresses the importance for moving on when your script gets rejected, and how writers will benefit from "a thick skin, belief in themselves, and five times a week therapy".

The confusing and notoriously temperamental world of Hollywood/Broadway means that your script can be too long and too short at the same time, one of many possible contradictions. Like acting, sometimes it's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, so taking things personally in the business makes as much sense as repeatedly sticking your hand in a garbage disposal and expecting to pull it out without a scratch.

Of course, it's inevitably more complicated than that. Then again, Levine notes that some of the people who rejected his scripts are now asking him for a job. As they say, living well is the best revenge...

Next?!

Burning Down

I just uploaded the ninth of twelve chapters in my new fanfic. Although the story itself sprang to mind after watching that YouTube video I mentioned before, this chapter was fueled almost entirely by the song "Whisper" by Evanescence (lyrics found here; the song can be heard on this Fullmetal video on YouTube.) If you hear it, you'll figure out why it worked so well.

It was, without a doubt, the hardest chapter of any fanfic I've ever written. I found myself poring over it, changing it over and over until my head hurt--which, when it comes to fanfic, is very odd for me. Up to the second I clicked "upload", I almost decided to let the story go unfinished. Not for any sadistic reason, mind you; I know there are a few interested readers out there and felt terrible about letting them down. It was more out of an unexplainable, vague uneasiness I couldn't understand. Fear of rejection, sure--but I always have that. This was something more, and I think I've finally figured out what it is.

Many years ago my playwriting professor lamented that, although I can write a great story, when it comes to infusing the characters with passion I put up a wall between myself and the audience (and not the good kind of wall.) It's a defense mechanism that I, apparently, am not always aware of. I tend to think (even when I don't realize it) that the audience is looking past the characters and judging the writer.

Usually, it's a little different with fanfic where I'm concerned. The characters have already been established in the reader's mind, so I can focus on the plot instead of worry about what the audience will be thinking when I have the character act a certain way. That may be why I have a good grasp of personalities when I write: I'm always fully conscious of what the character is feeling at any given time, even when they're not in the spotlight. The difference is, with stage/screenplays I'm hesitant to let the audience see those feelings for fear of being judged through the characters feeling them. How's that for screwed up? I think there was a line on Grey's Anatomy that explains it perfectly: "scary and damaged".

This chapter brought out some extreme emotions in the characters, which explains the issues I had in writing it. In a way, I consider it a type of breakthrough on my journey to becoming a better writer. I've discovered what my problem is and when it surfaces; now I just need to figure out how to work through it.

It Ends Here Tonight

A MASH-based screencap video on YouTube has prompted my overworked, cynical, barely rational mind to create another fanfic, which can be found here. I hadn't ever planned to revisit the theme of my previous fanfic, but the video grabbed my attention with the tenacity of a bulldog and wouldn't let go until I finished.

I seem to have a fascination with close friendships--maybe because most people desire that kind of closeness with at least one other person in their lives, though so few actually find it. It doesn't necessarily even have to be a romantic or sexual connection (something I wish the slash writers would realize), just a true understanding of the other person and a willingness to accept their dark side without scorn. A lot can be explored in that kind of relationship, which is probably why much of my work is centered around it.

Maybe that's the true basis of love: just being there when the other person needs it, never demanding more than they can give. If we all had at least one relationship like that in our lives, I think the world would be a much happier place.

More Fullmetal Madness

I don't know what it is about Fullmetal Alchemist that prompts people to make some rather interesting associations between the anime and "wacky" songs (see my Numa Numa post back in June), but they did it again. I have to admit, I'm actually somewhat impressed by the thought that went into this video; the scenes the author chose seem to match the lyrics very well. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure: Fullmetal Alchemist Meets Jerry Springer.

Accomplice: The Next Majestic

Came across a new "interactive" theatre experience currently being offered in New York City that (according to its own website) is "part game, part theater and part tour". It's called Accomplice: New York, and over the course of three hours you--along with seven other people--are sent on a scavenger hunt of sorts across the city, meeting all sorts of interesting characters on your quest.

Not for the passive, it calls for teamwork, an ability to walk briskly and puzzle-solving skills. The "characters" are actors that have been hired to make things more interesting. At $50 a person it's far cheaper than most decent seats at a typical Broadway show, but you had better bring your walking shoes.

It seems to be the "next level" of interactive theatre, but it actually reminds me very much of a relatively short-lived experiment EA Games brought out in 2001 called Majestic. The premise is similar to that of Accomplice, in the fact that you get pulled into it via interaction with interesting, often shady characters. (Majestic dealt more with a sci-fi, conspiracy theory theme instead of a trek across NYC, but I digress.)

Majestic didn't fare too well with gamers, and September 11th pretty much sealed its fate. I was interested, but I never got a chance to play it so I can't say whether it was any good. Accomplice might have a better chance, mainly because the action takes place in real time rather than over the fax lines and through email like Majestic did. At any rate, it's always interesting to see new branches of theatre emerging.

Fear And Loathing

Yesterday I went on my weekly visit to see my mother in the physical rehabilitation center. On the elevator trip to the fourth floor my father complained he felt dizzy; as we left the elevator, he collapsed. I tried to hold him up, but I was holding onto my laptop and my mother's weekly order of coffee and two Boston Creme donuts. As we later discovered, his blood sugar was 84 and had dipped in the elevator. I thought his fall would be the worst thing that happened. It wasn't.

I actually stood frozen as members of the rehab center's medical team helped him to a chair, secretly grateful the incident had happened so close to a hospital instead of out in a parking lot somewhere (which has happened.) Memories of my father's collapse in December, followed by a diagnosis of brain cancer, came flooding back in horrific detail. Tears started flowing immediately thereafter, and I found a lot of the nurses asking me if I was all right.

The truth was, I hated myself for reacting the way I did. Not just chagrined, and it went way beyond embarrassed. I hated myself for letting my father see how strongly my fear of his condition runs. There's precious little else in this world that will reduce me to a quivering, unintelligible mass of tears in an instant other than the death (or threat therein) of someone close to me. I suppose I never really got used to the idea because I didn't lose anyone in my life until I was a teenager, but since then it's been far more frequent.

All my life I've been the "strong, silent type". I guess I have a sort of easily approachable personality that lets my friends and family know I care about their problems, and I'm always willing to listen and/or help where I can. After all, humanity is a rough road, and when that journey is shared with others, the inherent pains associated with the human condition are lessened considerably.

But when it comes to my problems, some part of me feels like I don't have the right to let anything show. No, I don't know why, and for 26 years it hasn't been an issue. But in the course of two years I've been repeatedly confronted by horrors and deep-rooted fears I had never before considered or given a second glance to, and because of my own Goddamn pride/fear/hatred/whatever, I can't even talk to anyone about it. Not "I don't want to", "I have trouble with it", I am physically incapable of letting the people in my life see any type of pain without immediately hating myself for it. Where did that come from?

Truth be told, I did speak to a friend last night--but not about what had happened earlier. Still, just the act of speaking with a friend about anything--not necessarily problem related--helped me more than I think he'll ever know. I was grateful for this nod to the normalcy that seems to be lacking in my life at the moment.

I used to think I would come out the other side of turning points in my life largely unaffected, unscathed. Now I'm beginning to see that, even if I do come out the other side of this ever-lengthening tunnel, I won't by any means be unscathed.

I bet a psychiatrist would just have a field day with me...or quit their practice.

Kinder, Friendlier Torture

On July 20, 2007, President Bush signed an order barring "extreme" forms of torture when interrogating terror suspects. Of course, in stating what would no longer be allowed (exposure, "waterboarding", sexual abuse), he didn't nail down exactly what forms were allowed, leaving that door wide open to numerous possibilites--limited only by the imagination. And as history has proven, when it comes to sadism, some people can be quite creative.

To further drive home this point, the GOP bill specifically states that the president can "interpret the meaning and application" of the Geneva Convention detailing less severe forms of torture.

I'm not sure which is more disturbing, the fact the Bush administration thinks this kind of secretive, platitude-laced action is "normal", or the fact there isn't more of an outcry from the public over it. Which issue should be addressed first: that our President thinks nothing of keeping us in the dark over an issue that should be of nation-wide concern, or that he barred some forms of extreme torture while closing his eyes to the all-too-possible introduction of other, equally extreme measures?

Not to mention many of the detainees still haven't received a trial, having been told they'll die in Guantanamo before ever receiving one. The fact they aren't American citizens should have no bearing on attempts to find the truth. Isn't that what trials are for?

When exactly did this country lose its sense of decency? Are they afraid to tell us what they're doing for fear of humanitarian groups crying out? Maybe that's because they shouldn't be doing it. Understandably, the subject of terrorism will stir some strong emotions in all of us, and I'm no exception. There is, admittedly, a part of me who would like nothing more than to see terrorists suffer horribly for their crimes, and I have no warm feelings for the men currently being detained at Abu Ghraib. But that's just why we need to avoid such cruelty. Repaying like for like has started wars in the past, and humanity hasn't progressed much since.

Some of Bush's critics have compared his administration to that of the paranoia-infused Nixon era. Between the wiretapping scandal, secretive staff firings and now this textual monument to double-talk, I'm beginning to see their point.

Why Anime Should Never Go Live

I've been watching a number of videos on YouTube involving the live-action version of Sailor Moon. Here's an example.

.....May I take this opportunity to ask why anyone in their right mind would want to translate anime into live action? It doesn't work, folks. There's a reason it's animated--it isn't supposed to happen in real life. Granted, this clip is from a children's show, but SciFi has been bouncing the idea around to create a live-action show based on the oh-so-not-children's show Witch Hunter Robin.

Please, TV producers, for the love of anime and all that is decent in this world, leave animated series where they belong.

What Not To Do When Writing A Screenplay

Ken Levine (writer/producer for several famous sitcoms) had his daughter Annie give a few tips about what not to do with your script if you ever want it to see daylight. It's great advice, especially in a field where having the wrong format alone can kill your chances. I would just add one thing to the list: the maximum length of your script depends on the venue. Taking into account the generally accepted formula that one page equals one minute, 115-120 pages is fine for a screenplay, while a full-length stage play is better off at 90. A one-act should be half that.

Yes, I realize Annie Levine's post is discussing screenplays only, but I thought that point might need clarification since some folks might not make the distinction.

Harry Potter Theme Park

Universal Studios recently released plans for a new Harry Potter theme park. A literal Hogwarts for people to explore to their heart's content, giving poor Muggles a glimpse into the fascinating and dangerous world of the boy wizard...for a nominal fee, of course.

Is anyone else a little freaked out by the prospect? Not even Star Trek got this kind of treatment (the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas notwithstanding.) Harry Potter has taken the world by storm and spawned innumerable knockoffs in the book and movie worlds, with everyone hoping to cash in on the hype. Is Harry Potter a fad for the early 21st century, or--as Universal Studios is banking on--is it here to stay?

I'm still betting Harry gets killed off in the end--but that could be from watching too much anime, where characters usually die by the last episode. (Sometimes twice.)

The Glass House

Someone pointed me in the direction of a movie being (legally) housed online. It's called "The Glass House", based on a book by Truman Capote. Starring Vic Morrow, Alan Alda, Billy Dee Williams and Clu Gulager, it was made in 1972 at the Utah State Prison. (I remember Alda saying in an interview he was actually held hostage there for a time during filming, but I can't find any information on it.)

It isn't by any means a "happy" film, and is actually quite dark and gritty for its time. There's violence, implied rape and a suicide, so it's not one for the kiddies, but even today it's considered to be one of the most realistic film depictions of prison life.

Alda plays a mild-mannered political science professor convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to a year in jail; at the same time, a new guard (Gulager) is being shown the ropes. They both receive a baptism by fire into the dark world of prison life, administered by the resident bully (Morrow).

Without ruining it for you, all I can say is this is the first movie in years that kept me in suspense up until the last possible second. I was actually gripping the laptop in front of me; I don't ever remember a reaction like that with any of the more modern, multi-million-dollar special-effects films today. The climax alone in the last ten minutes was worth seeing the whole movie for.

As someone who isn't a fan of prison movies, this movie still impressed me enough to purchase a higher-quality copy from Amazon.com. If you'd like to see it online, just click the link I gave above and watch it on the right-hand side of your screen. It's in four 20-minute segments, so when the first one finishes just scroll through the options beneath that window to find the next one.

Play Time

I was speaking with a friend of mine last night--a Stanford student who was lucky enough to land an internship at Google. (We're talking brilliant--this kid thinks up math games just for fun.) We got to talking, and I mentioned how I was working on a new stage play. As it turns out, he has some friends in the theatrical field at Stanford whom he might be able to pass my scripts along to.

It's not often I get such a generous offer from someone, so of course I let him know I was interested. Especially Stanford, the university that's first on my list for med school! As with all offers of exposure I'm well aware it may not go anywhere, but at least I'll have pursued it.

Now I just have to get my you-know-what in gear and polish off the rest of my script before that offer evaporates.

Life, Liberty And Justice For Some

A writer on Associated Content published an article detailing the last words of several Texas inmates who were executed this year. Ironically, I stumbled across the article on the front page of Associated Content literally right after visiting the website for Death Penalty Focus.

I actually used to be for the death penalty. Not exactly a gung-ho supporter, mind you, but I just couldn't see any alternatives in some cases. I even took an entire class in college devoted to discussion of the death penalty; we ended up bitterly divided over the situation by the end, and the professor remarked he'd never seen such a passionate, stubborn group of students before on both sides.

Since that time, I've learned quite a bit about the death penalty: its history, the controversy, and all the problems inherent with a system run by imperfect people that--by necessity--has to be perfect. Where does that leave the wrongly convicted, of whom the numbers (thanks to recent advancements in DNA-related technology) are growing every day? What about the ratio of poor criminals executed to their richer counterparts, who can afford better counsel--and consequently avoid the same outcome?

Maybe there isn't a true "alternative" to the death penalty, but this isn't the answer, either. If there was a fair, balanced, perfect system in place, attitudes surrounding the practice might be different. But because it isn't a perfect system (and obviously never will be), what's the point in enforcing it intermittently, with drastically different outcomes for criminals with similar convictions--not to mention those wrongly convicted?

The US is one of only a handful of countries who still practice legally sanctioned executions. Maybe it's time to change that.

Fullmetal Alchemist On Crack

I was browsing YouTube clips last night and came across this video. Now, I'm not sure what was going through the author's mind at the time, but it seems apparent someone had a little too much beer with their pizza.

Without further ado, I present to you this moment of "Wha...?"

Medical Opinion

There, it's done. My new blog will deal directly with medical issues so I can concentrate more on the other things in my life here. Check out the link on the right side of this page,or just click here. Enjoy.

Branching Off

I'm starting to notice a distinct difference between my personal posts (like this one) and my medical posts. Look for a new blog in the near future, featuring my medical-related posts; this one will be more devoted to my personal ramblings. Aren't you lucky?

In other news, my new Screenwriter's Bible from Dave Trottier recently arrived in the mail. I had read the book from cover to cover at a bookstore a while back, but didn't actually get a copy of my own until I knew I was in a position make good use of it. Now (I think) I have a solid concept for my script, and need its format guidelines to make the pages neat and pretty.

Now, to buckle down and get the plot treatment done...

New Drug May Reverse Autism

This article from the BBC shows how scientists have managed to reverse the symptoms of autism in mice by targeting the PAK enzyme, which controls connection between brain cells. The mice displayed behavior common to those affected by Fragile X Syndrome, a known factor in autism and mental retardation, but after scientists inhibited the action of the PAK enzyme their symptoms virtually vanished.

This may be a tremendous breakthrough in the field of autism and other mental retardation issues. The fact this treatment and reversal occurred quite some time after the symptoms first began suggests there's hope for those already suffering, as well as those in danger of developing Fragile X Syndrome in the future.

Birthday Pains

I've been stretching the truth a little in my profile until now--today is actually when I turn 26. It's the first birthday I almost forgot...and sort of wish I did.

Never thought I'd be one of those people who get all depressed and morose on their birthday. Looking back, I guess it's been a natural progression for me. While I never had any grand delusions that I would be saving the world by now, I did expect to be doing something worthwhile. Instead I sit in limbo, waiting: waiting to get enough money to pay off my student loans, waiting to get my life back on track, waiting for those words I long to hear from my father's radiation oncologist that the cancer is gone. So much waiting...and only 26 damn years old.

In birthdays past I would celebrate with friends and family by seeing a Broadway show (front row, of course) and visiting my friend Bob at the Encore restaurant in the Marriott Marquis. This year I have no money, nearly all my friends have moved out of state, and neither of my parents are in any physical condition to celebrate. So now I celebrate the only way I can--with a deep dish pizza and a blog post.

I know I sound bitter and self-pitying, and maybe to a degree I am. But while I've learned to adapt to any situation quickly, embracing change has never been a strong point for me. Now I'm another year older, nothing is how I envisioned it five years ago, and the road ahead is rocky at best and a nightmare at worst. 26...and I feel like 50.

Ah, well. Maybe next year the Broadway lights will sparkle again.

M*A*S*H fanfic

Mon conte est finie. I command you to read it.

Faster Treatment = More Lives Saved

I ran across this article from Medical News Today. Apparently a hospital in Indiana has found a way to increase response time in treating ST-segment elevation myocardial infarction (a type of heart attack in which an artery is completely blocked). The common treatment for STEMI is an emergency angioplasty, but how successful it is depends a lot on how fast it gets done.

So this hospital came up with two key changes to speed up the process that seem to be working: instead of having to wait on activating the cath lab until a cardiologist comes to the ER to examine the patient, the ER physician can now activate the cath lab without waiting for the go-ahead from the cardiologist. (Sounds like a simple idea, but just consider how difficult it is to break away from "traditional" protocol in the ER.) The other change was to put in place an in-house "Emergency Heart Attack Response Team", to set up the cath lab almost as soon as the physician activates it.

This is a fantastic idea, and I have no doubt it'll catch on with other hospitals--the sooner the better.

We'll Run On Our Own Legs

I'm uploading this pic for a page of mine on Neopets. (Contrary to popular belief, it's not really a children's site; it was created almost eight years ago by two college kids to help other college kids throw away their study time.)

It's from an anime called Wolf's Rain. The series had some fascinating concepts and centered on an original story about wolves seeking "paradise" as the world comes to an end. One line stuck with me over the years, spoken by the wolf pack leader Kiba to a human: "Why? Why do you always look to the sky? Why do you try so hard to fly when you don't have any wings? We'll run on our own legs." I always took that to mean a person shouldn't spend time dreaming or wishing things were a certain way; if there's a way to get it done, just shut up and do it. It's a lesson I've come to learn the hard way.

Cracking the Genetic Code--Again

A friend recently forwarded this article to me from the BBC. The article discusses a recent study that suggests we may be a step closer to linking specific genes with the development of diseases like diabetes and heart disease.

The potential ramifications for this discovery can be huge. After all, who wouldn't want a surefire way to know if they'll have an increased risk of disease later in life? The earlier they discover it, the more preventive measures they can take. This also opens the door for possible genome-specific cures to be created, effectively re-training a person's genes to reject disease.

Of course, as with any advancement in the genetic field, there's a flip side. My friend also included an article from the New York Times showcasing Dr. James D. Watson, whose entire genome was recently deciphered along with that of Celera Corporation's J. Craig Venter. At the same time, questions are being raised that the project might reveal their familial genetic "imperfections" to the public.

Say what now?

Obviously, there's a "creep factor" for anything as invasive as examining your own gene structure. And I too have innate fears as to what currently unknown horrors might face us when this technology regrettably (yet inevitably) ends up in the wrong hands. But if the only argument against genome-mapping for possible links to disease is the fact you might air your family's dirty laundry to the public, get over it. There's plenty enough to worry about with the future of genetics--say, biowarfare, for example--without being scared that people will laugh at me because one of my chromosomes looks funny.

I may not be the biggest supporter of genetic mapping, but I sure as hell know there's no stopping it. And I'd rather see it progress under the supervision of those scientists who have no ulterior motives than worry about my genes hanging out while someone deep underground makes those same scientific advances as they plot my destruction.

A Little Fall of Rain

I uploaded the first chapter of my fanfic to FanFiction.net. Check it out. Other chaptery goodness is soon to follow, I promise.

YouTube

Saw a blooper reel for M*A*S*H that I thought was cute. I also stumbled across a music video combining the "Abyssynia, Henry" episode with Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight". Oddly touching.

So far this week I've managed to catch up with two friends I haven't spoken to in years. One I used to go to Drew with; she's in Chicago currently getting her master's in music business management. Somehow she's been there God knows how many years and still hasn't gone to the Museum of Science and Industry. I, on the other hand, spend every minute there whenever I visit the Windy City. There, and the Adler Planetarium. I'm such a nerd.

My other friend and I used to play a MUD game called Dragon's Gate. Sadly, the game is no more, but I remembered having written a few poems my character recited--see the right side of this blog for links. Poems aren't really my thing, but I enjoyed the opportunity to write them.

I also won every poetry contest my character entered, to boot. That means I'm either a good poet or just neurotic--maybe both. Three cheers for obsessive perfectionism!

Goodbye, Joe

On March 9th, the chairman of the Drew University theatre department, Joe Patenaude, passed away from a heart attack. The university held a memorial service for him in April, along with a concert to benefit his daughter.

Only I didn't know any of this until I got the alumni magazine in the mail.

How do I feel about this? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to feel? I know that, as an alumna for several years, I'm already once removed from the campus, so it would follow that I don't always know everything that's going on there.

At the same time, this dredges up memories of when my friend died during Spring Break and I didn't know until after the funeral. In fact, I didn't get the email that came out and only found out when she didn't show up for the Latin class we had together. I felt cheated (and guilty) for not being able to attend her funeral, and I feel cheated (and guilty) for not attending Joe's memorial service.

If I remember this right, he got the chairman position a few years ago because he wasn't around during the vote (and no, that wasn't a joke.) Joe and I rarely saw things eye to eye, but I respected his passion and conviction about his work. I also liked him as a friend and human being, and spoke with him on a number of occasions after graduation. We would meet by accident at the local library or bookstore and catch up on life. I offered my sympathy when he told me his wife had a brain tumor, and my condolences when she passed away last year. (I never had the chance to tell him my father would also be diagnosed with a brain tumor that December.) He was so proud when Drew put on a production of the musical Urinetown, and when I didn't even have enough money for my father's ticket he told me not to worry about it. He was always honest, and that isn't something you can say about many people.

And what about his daughter, Emma? I don't remember how old she is, but she must barely be a teenager. She's lost both parents in less than a year. Out of all my muddled feelings, I feel the sorriest for her. Poor kid didn't deserve this.

I still haven't written anything on his condolence page yet. Right now I've had so much pain and fear in my life I'm not sure I can.

Goodbye, Joe. Thanks for being a part of my life, if only for a few years, and for actually listening to this department misfit even when I couldn't understand myself.

Martinis and Medicine

A friend of mine recently convinced me to start a blog, apparently under the impression that what I have to say would be of interest to others. (A misconception I'm sure he'll come to realize in time.)

A blissfully brief introduction: years ago I went to college with the plan of going straight on to medical school. After a few surprises along the way, not the least of which being the sudden passing of a good friend during Spring Break of my sophomore year, my mid-life crisis came twenty years too early. In this time I also found a knack for playwriting, which I further explored by way of a theatre major and even now put to good (and occasionally mischievous) use. In the past few years I've gone through alternating periods of self-discovery and trials by hellfire, leaving me to question everything I had ever known about myself and the natural order of the world. Then all of a sudden, I woke up and realized I was 26 years old and no closer to reaching my life's goals than when I first dreamed them.

That's when I realized that life really is what you make from it.

So now I sit here, typing this blog post into cyberspace, groping my way blindly back to the middle of the road to find--and realize--my dreams. Whether I make it or not, at least I tried, right?

One last note: I'm uploading this photo of Alan Alda for my profile. TVLand's decision to re-air the series M*A*S*H has had an oddly profound effect on my life--maybe one of those "right place, right time" situations. I've always respected Alan's natural talent as an actor, writer and director throughout his life, but watching the show's reruns these past few months have made me painfully aware of the gap between who I am and who I want to be. For that, as strange as it sounds, I'm truly grateful.

If you're with me so far, thank you. I'll try to make this blog worthy of your patronage. If not, just head to Dunkin' Donuts for your free bagel and coffee; just give them my name--they'll know who I am.